your parents love me but you hate me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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