I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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