Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
