He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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