she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
