One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
