I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
