That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize