try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
