you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
