i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
