my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
