That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.