last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...