Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year