Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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