vagina is talking i cant
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
