PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
