don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
