I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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My vagina is officially offended.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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