did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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