You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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