I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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