Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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