why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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