she woke up with a sticky ear
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
