JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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