then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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