I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You ate ashes out of my bong
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
