I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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