All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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