i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
