The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I FOUND THE LEGS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize