dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
