What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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