Already got asked if we're dating
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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