Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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