Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
