There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
