Non-Jews are for practice
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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