Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
