so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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