Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
