the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
