Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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