She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
