how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
