matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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