Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
