my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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