New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
