Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
