I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
