Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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