One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
