Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
