Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
