corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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