how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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