somebody snuck up and got me drunk
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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