Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
